i get to the OB's office at 2.45 and luckily Jenny was running late. unfortunately she was running really late. it was 3.20 before i got called back. oh well. i was supposed to meet a cheryl at the gym at 3.30 to do some cardio but she'll have to deal with me being late.
i let jenny know all the 'nots'. and we reviewed my history as she wasn't familiar with all the cancer stuff.
she examined me and confirmed she couldn't feel any hard bits or lumps in the breast, so that's good. but we all know not all cancers are felt. she did say something that was encouraging. she said if i hadn't said anything and she was examining my breast she would think that was my natural skin coloration. so again, in a sense, that was encouraging. however i know it's not natural for me.
she said her gut said it could be 1 of 2 ways we go about figuring this out. i go to a dermatologist and i'd probably be told to put a cream on it and see how things go for about a week. or we go have a biopsy and see what that tells us.
at 1 point she asked me and was a little guarded how she put her question. in fact she didn't even really ask. i'm not sure i really knew what she was getting at, but i let her know that matt had sent me an im before leaving. he said to me he wanted me to make sure they can rule out something, but he made me promise i wouldn't look it up and scare myself. so i did. turns out he wants me to have them rule out paget's disease. it's a nasty cancer of the breast that starts at the nipple. i couldn't remember the details but i did recognize the name and knew it was a nasty diagnosis.
so anyway, i used that to let her know and she was glad i knew about it and wasn't going to freak out when she said the name. she did say it didn't look anything like any of the images she'd seen of it. which after i realized what she said leads me to believe she hasn't seen a case in front of her, but that's ok. as long as she knows what to look for, and what to do if she suspects it. which in my case she really doesn't.
but she understands with my history and peace of mind, and she also knows there are atypical presentations of various diseases and that it would be good to be certain.
we decided she'd confer with the doctor (remember jenny's the NP) and call me back either tonight or in the morning and we'd get a plan going. i should not use a cream until after we do or have realized the need to not have a biopsy so we don't risk contaminating the specimen with the cream.
tomorrow morning i'm calling dr. clarfeld and getting in to see him. we'll see what he has to say, and go from there.
i know it's a little let down as far as information. but i really know nothing except i felt a whole lot better walking out of the OB office than i had walking in.
tonight the rashring is still there, and the nipple's actually quite tender now. but how much of that is directly linked to the rash and how much has been caused by us poking and pulling and pushing on it i can't say.
i do know if it's cancer of any type i'll probably lose that nipple since the rashring is right up on the areola. ond of course it goes to say that even if the cancer is at the nipple i'll just have a mastectomy. maybe they can use some of the good skin from my breast to remake the nipple...
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