2/12/2010

this week has been a bit emotional. a continuance from last week maybe, i don't know.

did i tell you about my last group? i don't remember, so i'm going to do it now, or again, whichever is 'it'.  then i'm going to give you links to the food post (http://camelland-foodie.blogspot.com/) which has a little more info on celebrating 3 years cancer free.

on feb 2nd we had a breast cancer support group meeting. there was a newbie there who had just had her surgery but hadn't started her radiation or anything else. so we went around the circle. that's fine. i actually went last, and as i was saying my name i just teared up. suzi was sitting to my left and i looked at her, giggled and said 'i don't remember the last time i cried when talking about myself'. i caught my breath, and got through my story, added info about the MRI, crossland, getting my needle stick done by 1 of the oncology nurses instead of the MRI tech.

later in the meeting suzi referred to my tears and how all these drugs and just being overwhelmed by all the cancer stuff can make one emotional, and how it stays with you for a while. and yes, i'm taking tamoxifen, which is a pill variant of chemo, and it messes with your hormones. but suzi said something i hadn't thought of, and also made me feel better. she's a little older than me (don't hate me if i get this wrong) i think she's about 60, and she said she still gets really emotional over a lot of silly things, but then she laughs because she realizes she still must have 'all those hormones' which are going crazy and making her emotional.

as i said this week was emotional. captain phil harris, a seattle resident and skipper of the cornelia marie, on discovery channel's deadliest catch. i never met him, but a lot of seattle watches that show as there are several skippers from here on the show, and i guess we feel like we know them even if we never met them.  anyway, last year capt'n phil suffered a PE which he survived, amazingly, and then he went back out on the sea. this year, during opellio season, he suffered a stroke while at sea, and he didn't survive. he passed away 2 days ago.

today on a training run up in whistler BC a georgian (former soviet state, not north of florida) luger crashed going about 80-90 mph and after watching the footage of the incident, i don't know how in the world he wouldn't have died instantly. i saw something earlier today on twitter saying he was going 140 - but maybe that was klics, not mph...  anyway, he flew up, hit the wall bounced off and over it and tumbled a bit going head-first into one of the concrete pillars that line the track. they tried to revive him but he had to have died instantly. so the games are being dedicated to him.

so 've learned that my emotions are more than worn on my sleeve. if you see me and i'm wearing little wet spots on my shirt i was probably crying over - what's the saying? "i cry at street crossings."